Hunterdon County Democrat, Thursday, July 3, 2003

Laughter is the best remedy. Ralph Haselmann, Jr. of Bethlehem Township is flanked by his father, Ralph Sr. and sister, Crystal Senour at a poetry festival celebrating Ralph Jr. and his friends and family. Ralph Jr. is a poet who was left quadraplegic after a car accident last year (2001).

Tragedy Can't Stop Poet's Enthusiasm

     On October 8, 2001, Ralph Haselmann Jr. of Bethlehem Township, then 36, was driving home when he bent to pick up a water bottle and some onion rings from Burger King that had fallen on the passenger side floor of his car. Ralph admits that it was the stupidest mistake of his life. In a split second, his life changed forever. His foot hit the accelerator and his car smashed into a tree while he was traveling about 40 miles an hour.

     Mr. Haselmann was four houses away from home. With no seatbelt or airbag, his head went through the windshield and required 150 stitches. He didn't have a seatbelt on because of his girth. He broke his hip and the steering wheel tore his aorta which created a life threatening situation.

     The five-hour emergency heart surgery that followed was made more dangerous by his weight of 350 pounds. During the operation he suffered a secondary spinal chord injury and was paralyzed from the chest down. After a three month coma he began to recover slowly. Since his accident, he has endured 20 months of therapy, four nursing homes and four hospitals.

     Despite these hardships, Mr. Haselmann continues to be a prolific poet and writer and is self-published through Xlibris. His first two books, Wounded Heart, Naked Soul (heartfelt romantic love poems) and Scattershot Haze (a tribute to the Beat poets, hippies and musicians of the 1950s and 1960s) are both available through www.Xlibris.com, www.Amazon.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com, and www.Borders.com. He was also the publisher of Lucid Moon Poetry Magazine for three years (1997-1999). His critically lauded Lucid Moon Review Poetry Website, www.lucidmoonpoetry.com, is still active today. Mr. Haselmann is working on upgrading the site, learning to use the computer again with adaptive computer devices.

     Last Saturday, June 28th,his family and friends held the first Lucid Moon Palooza Poetry Festival to celebrate life and to thank all of his poetry friends, colleagues, peers and family who supported him through his recovery. The festival was by invitation only. Ralph's father was the emcee, his mother and grandmother prepared most of the food, and his sisters and their children decorated the VFW hall with banners, balloons and three galleries of Beat poets, hippies and rock stars of the 1960's, and Ralph's original cartoons.

     His cartoons were a hit, convincing him to publish all 300 of his cartoons as his third book. Ralph says the big cartoon book is already compiled, and he just has to raise the $2000 his new printing on demand publisher wants to publisher wants to print it. "The book will be called So You Want To Be A Cartoonist?! It's 8 ½ by 11, 200 pages, 300 cartoons, and I'm hoping to have it published by December 2004, just in time for Christmas. I have high hopes for this book. Cartoon books are easier to sell and are more profitable than poetry books. And my new publisher, 1stbooks, gives me a higher royalty rate of 50%, much better than Xlibris, which gave me only 25% of the list price of each book."

     Mr. Haselmann is staying at the Hunterdon Care Center in Flemington. It's a care center primarily for elderly wheelchair bound adults. His mother, Kathy Haselmann said he's doing well there. "He can talk now. He came off the respirator in January of 2002 and his trache tube was removed in August of 2002. He's also lost 140 pounds and now weighs 210 pounds. He hasn't been this thin since high school."

     In addition to recovering his health, he has learned to type using special adaptive equipment. "He spends most of the day on the computer. He was allowed in the wheelchair only two hours every other day because pf his bedsore, but he convinced the administration to let him put wheels on his work station and now he uses the computer ten hours a day. He uses an adaptive keyboard and a mouse pad on a tray table above his knees." his mother said. Aside from working on his website, he is also writing new poetry.

     "He has four more poetry book manuscripts to publish. His brain is working well, it's just his body that's not," said Mrs. Haselmann.

     Even prior to his accident, Mr. Haselmann's art was affected by his health; he suffers from bi-polar manic depressive disorder and much of his poetry reflects that, written at a time when his malady was not under control. Now that it is controlled, his creative juices are still flowing and Ralph is less depressed.

Here is a sample of three of his poems:

Poetry In Motion

Release from the inner well
Where words dwell
Conjure up and tell

A word geyser

Fall

Sometimes when all is quiet
and everything lies hushed and fallen,
you can hear sweet serenity
whispering from Heaven's breath.
I recall a soft summer day
of youth made music by the gentle sea
I remember a friend whose smile
warmed me as sure as the setting sun
I regret how fast his life flashed before me
like a falling mourning star
and left in his wake only tears
and a million questions, all asking why
And the bittersweet serenity still calling
is the cry of my lonely wounded heart

All Those Yesterdays

All those yesterdays
All those orange purple cherry red sunrises
All those moments spent riding the rails
All that hitch hikin
All that road travelling
All that dreamin
All that wild poetry rose awriitin
All those Hobo Heavens
All those New Jersey Zen Nowhere Moments
All those kindhearted women
All that drinkin and lovin
All those juke joints a hoppin
All those hipsters a beboppin
Alll that jazz a playin
All those Mary Janes a smoking and a swayin
All those campfire light stories
All those Paths of Glories
All those rivers a fly fishin
All those waterfalls a skinny dipping under
All those crimson violet rose colored sunsets
All those dreams lost under the stars
All those precious moments spent with you
Sometimes when you turn the right way in the moonlight
And the light catches a glint in your eyes
It sets your hair on fire with an ultraviolet halo
And stars get lost in your eyes