4. Naked Lunch  (1992) This is director David Cronenborg's inept, ridiculous, absurd adaptation of William S. Burroughs's sick, hallucinatory novel.  Director Cronenborg always had an alien/bug/sex fetish.  In the book alien creatures called Mugwumps have sex with young teenage boys and then snap their heads back. The movie couldn't show this and who in their right mind would want to see it? The book also has scenes of young teenage boys having sex with each other.  The movie couldn't show this for obvious reasons. Instead we were treated to two 40-year-old men having sex and melting into a plastic blob. Ridiculous. What a treat. I am not turned on by naked middle-aged men. I like youth and beauty. The movie also shows a typewriter becoming animated and sprouting an asshole face. It was gross. The movie also incorporates biographical scenes from Burroughs's life including where he has a William Tell adventure and tries to shoot an apple from his wife's head, and he misses it and kills her.  I'm surprised Burroughs didn't receive jail time for murder or manslaughter. My friends said you have to be high to enjoy this, but I don't take drugs.  I was drunk, but that doesn't cut the mustard.  This is the worst film I've ever seen in my life. Don't waste your time and money seeing this. Instead read the novel or a book by a better Beat writer.  For my money, Burroughs is highly over-rated and is the worst Beat writer.

5. The Doors (1991) A great-looking and sounding production, but director Oliver Stone messes with the facts. The famous photo-shoot with a bare-chested Jim Morrison wearing love beads, was taken by a male photographer, Paul Brodsky, not Gloria Stavers. This is important to note because there is a hint of homoeroticism in having Morrison pose bare-chested. The Buick tv commercial using Light My Fire was never made, but a radio ad featuring the hit song was talked about but never made; the scene where Jim finds his wife Pamela in bed with another guy having an affair and shooting up heroin, so he locks her in a closet and sets it on fire, that scene never occurred; and the duck scene never occurred, where Jim accidentally burns a Thanksgiving Day duck and stomps on it and a biker shrugs his shoulders and picks it up and eats it. That's director Oliver Stone's plodding sense of humour. As director Spike Lee said of Stone, "Oliver Stone whups you upside the head with his point!" Starring Val Kilmer as Jim Morrison, he looks and sounds incredibly like Morrison, even doing some of the vocals in the concert performances. A great amount of poetry is read, voiced-over, unlike the Total Eclipse movie about Rimbaud, who greatly influenced Morrison. You get a real feel for the 1960's, but the script is really a Cliff Notes of the band's career and it lapses into the old alcohol downhill slide look at a performer's career. And Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek said that the film portrayed Jim's dark side but didn't show the love he was capable of. I can't comment on that because I wasn't Jim's friend, but I think this film and the 1980 Danny Sugarman biography No One Here Gets Out Alive portray Jim in a negative light. Still, some fine visuals and a sly wit make this enjoyable, along with some great music. You have to admire Oliver Stone's Chutzpah and determination in getting this film made. He has an obvious love for Jim Morrison, his poetry and The Door's music. The Doors were one of the most important and revolutionary musical groups of the 1960's. Now their story is preserved down to the ages.

6. My Own Private Idaho (1991) My favorite film starring River Phoenix, with Keanu Reeves, about River searching for his long lost mom. This film is not about poetry, it's about gay male hustlers and searching for love in a cruel and inhuman world, but River's performance is sheer poetry. Check out the scene where he is dazed and confused and is groping around on the ground picking up pieces of glass, or the campfire scene where he confesses his love for his friend Keanu. River wrote and directed that scene, and it comes from the heart. I have my videotape copy cued up to the campfire scene, and I play it often before bed like a prayer in the hope that I will one day find a companion. In the campfire scene, River says "I really want to have a talk with you....I mean we're talking now and that's good."  Keanu says "Mikey...." and River says, " What do I mean to you? " Keanu says, " Mikey, you're my best friend " and River says, " I know that's good to be friends."  And Keanu says, " Mikey, I only sleep with guys for the money. And two guys can't love each other." And River says," I know, I know, but for me it's different. I could love another man and I wouldn't have to be paid for it." and River looks and sounds like he's going to cry. Keanu says, "Mikey" and he has a change of heart.  He opens up his arms and says "C'mere Mickey" and he hugs River all night long.  This is the most human, humane and compassionate scene in the film, a gift to gay people everywhere. River is very creative in this film.  He continues a running gag in this film of pulling up his zipper in embarrassment. He did this in two previous films, Dog Fight and I Love You To Death. In another scene Keanu is making out obnoxiously with his Italian girlfriend at the breakfast table. River moves his head from side to side and mocks them, twisting his face and muttering to himself. He waves a cigarette in one hand and blows smoke at them.  It's cute. In another endearing scene, River and Keanu run throughout a dilapidated, abandoned hotel with their runaway homeless friends, trying to elude the authorities who are about to condemn the building. Keanu and River run into a bedroom and dive under the covers where they pretend to make love, rocking back and forth, moaning and groaning. The authorities open the door, and Keanu says "Aha!" He leans on his side next to River and talks to the authorities, and pulls the hair on River's chest and nipples. River slaps his hand away.and Keanu motions for the authorities to go away and says F___ off" It's charming. In another scene, Keanu is talking to his former lover, Bob, and he breaks out with quotes from Shakespeare's Chimes of Midnight as if to show that homeless people are deranged and talking nonsense. Director Gus Van Zant does an inventive, imaginative job of directing and creates many indelible scenes. In the opening scene, Van Zant contrasts a shocking scene of River getting a blowjob with scenes of fish flipping out of the water and spawning upstream. A connection is made between fish and sperm. River is shown from behind in a chair wearing jeans unzippered to the crotch, and this is contrasted with close-ups of ecstasy on River's face. Then at the moment of orgasm we see a dilapidated barn crashing to the highway pavement to symbolize an earth-shattering orgasm. The male John throws $20 in Rivers' crotch, his jeans unzippered enough to see some pubic hairs. River was modest and chose not to appear nude in this or any of his films. He also chose to make his character gay, and one wonders if he was gay in real life. In another inventive scene, River and Keanu are seen with their John in the nude in a montage of real life stills or friezes as if to comment on the fleetingness of love and sex. River chose to appear with his jacket tied to his waist, another modest personal choice. I read several reports when this movie first came out about how a lot of guys left this movie in disgust with their girlfriends halfway thru this film because they couldn't handle the homosexual passages in it. That is their loss and just goes to show that most guys are blatently homophobic and are latent homosexuals, or at least bisexual. Freud believed that everyone was bisexual and I believe this too. Just look at how most guys become flaming homosexuals after that magical third beer and want to hug an kiss their cute buddies! It's obvious from liqueur-fueled conversations I've had with other guys and their body language that most guys would rather spend their time drinking beer with their cute buddies than be back home with their bitchy wives or girlfriends! As Norm said in the tv sitcom Cheers, "Women. Can't live with them, pass the beernuts!" Seriously, this movie needs to be seen by more straight men and women so that they can begin to treat each other and gays with more compassion and understanding. It's typical that this movie wasn't even nominated for Best Picture or Best Actor for River's performance in favor of a vicious, sick movie about a serial killer, The Silence of The Lambs. Where's the humanity in this? I'm sick of Hollywood mainstream movies about violence and explosions. In time, this film will be studied in college film courses and will be regarded as one of the most brilliant and innovative films ever made. The structure of the movie is interesting. The beginning, middle and end of the film shows River alone by the side of a lonely road. In the last scene River passes out due to narcolepsy and stress. A stranger stops by the side of the road, removes River's sneakers and then decides to drag River's body into the front seat with him and ominously drives away. Then "The End" appears on the screen folllowed by "Have a nice day!" for a bit of irony. This movie has a sly wit and I find something new in it every time I see it. I could crawl up inside this film and live in it. In fact I love it to death. I can't recommend it enough.

7. Kafka (1990) This intriguing film is director Steven Soderburg's second film, after his infamous debut sex, lies and videotape from 1987.  You get a real feel for the paranoia and claustrophobia that Franz Kafka endured throughout his life, especially as he worked and toiled in a factory-like setting.  The movie ingeniously moves from black and white to color in his dream-like sequence, where he is chased by authorities. Then the movie goes back to black and white, much like the form of The Wizard of Oz. Of course there is the famous scene from Kafka’s short story Metamorphosis where Gregor Samsa turns into a cockroach. It’s darkly comic as he lays in bes unable to turn over. Woody Allen once made a joke that a character in his short story had an inferiority complex greater than that of Franz Kafka!  This movie was really intense and I highly recommend it.  I haven't seen any more films by Soderburgh in a dozen years since this was made.  I would like to see more of his works.

8. Barfly (1987) A hilarious and gritty look at the early seedy life of beat poet Charles Bukowski, starring Mickey Rourke and Faye Dunaway. Bukowski wrote this dark comic autobiography and uses his alias, Henry Chinaski. This is Henry's life, picking bar fights, betting on the racetrack, drinking and getting laid! Some funny scenes, like when the obnoxious couple are making out at a red light and Charles bumps them with his car into the middle of the intersection. "They need a taste of death!" he says. In another gritty scene, Henry goes next door to tell a creep to stop abusing his wife and the creep throws him a punch and says "Maybe she likes it!" , and his wife sticks her head up from the bed and chimes in, "Yeah, maybe I like it!" Sick, but hilarious. Doesn't have enough of Bukowski's poetry, but a good look at his life.

9. Heartbeat (1980) A rollicking, jazzy, breezy account of the life of Jack Keourac, Neal Cassidy, and Neal's wife, starring Nick Nolte, John Heard, Ray Sharkey and Sissy Spacek. Ray plays a Ginsberg type. The movie is true for the most part, but fictionalizes the Ginsberg character. A fun look at the jazzy Beat scene. The movie doesn't focus on the poetry or writings enough, but shows Jack as he is writing On The Road and shows key scenes from his life. They glossed over one element of his life, his bisexuality. In a montage scene, Keourac is shown taking turns with Neal's wife, but they never show Jack and Neal going up together to the attic loft for a tryst, as surely they had sex on at least one occasion, as it's been documented. In one particularly amusing scene, a sleazy smarmy tv talk show host, played by John Larroquette of tv's Night Court, interviews Jack and then proceeds to put down Jack and the entire Beat Generation, as if he had no clue as to what they were all about. To make matters worse, Kerouac then has dinner with the interviewer and they act as if nothing happened. Jack then asks the interviewer if he wantts to talk to the real Dean Moriarty, Neal Cassidy, and the interviewer of course jumps at the chance. Jack hands him the phone, but Neal hangs up. There is justice in the world!! Overall, a fine film, a great feel for the times.

10. Dead Poets Society (1986) This mainstream movie is the perfect vehicle for Robin William's comic sensibilities, and heartfelt poignant acting.  Williams plays a prep school English teacher who has a profound, positive effect on his students, but his unorthodox teaching methods get him in trouble.  He tells his students that when he was a student there, he and his friends had clandestine meetings in a cave where they read poetry by candlelight.  They called themselves the Dead Poets Society. Sure enough his students form a new Dead Poets Society. They have midnight meetings in the cave where they read poetry by candlelight.  One student plays the tom-toms and he reads what he thinks is Beat poetry.  It was ridiculous, kind of like the 1960's TV show, The Life and Times of Dobie Gillis, when they attempted to cash in on the Beats. The actor who played the main character, Bob Denver, went on to play Gilligan in Gilligan's Island, without a doubt the worst tv show in history. Imagine, two bum acting roles back to back. Another point of the movie that bothered me was when one of the lead characters, played by Robert Sean Leonard, committed suicide after some harsh words with his stern father.  Anytime a movie has a suicide, it smacks of weak plot device trying to make you feel emotion.  The other movie that did this was the otherwise superb Ordinary People.  The third thing that bothered me, was the subplot of Ethan Hawke's romance with a girl from the girl's dormitory on the other side of the campus.  I'm tired of homophobic directors trying to appeal to the mainstream heterosexual audience. A more honest subplot for a boys' school would be two boys falling in love. When the administrators come to fire Robin Williams, the boys protest loudly and Ethan Hawke climbs on his desk and shouts out, "Oh Captain, My Captain"!  You can see the emotion in his face. Robin solemnly says, "Thank you boys" and then he is gone. This is the most enjoyable of the 10 films I reviewed, and My Own Private Idaho is the second most enjoyable. When they showed this on TV they expanded it with out-take scenes. I hope this director's cut is available on video or DVD.

I am not taking any items for review because my right hand is paralyzed from my near fatal car accident of October 2001. It takes me an hour to type one paragraph, ridiculous. I now do ten pages of reviews every quarter, which will appear in my quarterly Lucid Moon Review Poetry Newsletter and will be reprised in the book review section of the archives area of my Lucid Moon Review Poetry Website www.lucidmoonpoetry.com. If you want your chapbooks or books reviewed contact Doug Holder (dougholder@post.harvard.edu), Laura Stamps (laurastamps@mindspring.com), Michael Basinski (basinski@acsu.buffalo.edu), Hugh Fox (hughfox8@aol.com), S. A. Griffin (sagriffin@mindspring.com) and Joyce Metzger (stormey@sunshine.net). Write to them first to make sure they have enough time to do the review before you send them anything.

Publishers have my permission in advance to reprint my reviews as long as they send me a copy of what it appears in or tell me what website it appears on. My reviews go out to several small press discussion lists, including Doug Holder's list (ibbetsonstreetpressupdate@yahoogroups.com), J.J. Campbell's list (jcampb4593@aol.com) and Frank Moore's list (fmoore@eroplay.com), after which they will be archived on my Lucid Moon Review PoetryWebsite.

My quarterly poetry book reviews are posted on my Lucid Moon Review Poetry Website in the archives and newsletter area. They have also been posted in the past by 5 websites, including Al Aronowitz' The Blacklisted Journalist website (www.bigmagic.com/pages/blackj/, blackj@bigmagic.com), Joe Grant's BookZen website (www.bookzen.com, info@bookzen.com). Andre Cordrescue's Exquisite Corpse (now called Mississippi Corpse) (www.exquisitecorpse.org), Carlye Archibeque's The Independent Review Site (theindependentreviewsite.org) and Brian Morrisey's Poesy magazine and website (brian@poesy.org, www.poesy.org).

Ralph Haselmann, Jr. edits the critically lauded Lucid Moon Review Poetry Website<.i>. (www.lucidmoonpoetry.com) which has been called the best poetry website on the internet, a valuable resource for poets, and is highly rated by Google. His first two poetry books, Wounded Heart, Naked Soul and Scattershot Haze, are available at Xlibris at 1-888-7xlibris, www.Xlibris.com, www.Amazon.com, www.BarnesandNoble.com, and www.Borders.com. In October 2001, Ralph was in a horrible, serious, near-fatal car accident, which left him paralyzed below the waist and in his right writing hand. Ralph is not wallowing in anger or self-pity, rather he is rededicating his life to promoting and publishing the works of others and himself. Remarkably, he can type with an adaptive keyboard and use a mouse pad to work on his website. Ralph is a member of The Writer’s Bridge, a group which will help place his writings in magazine markets that will pay him. Ralph is a proud member Peta, not People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals, but the other one, People Eating Tasty Animals! Ralph has given poetry readings at the Shaker Café in Flemington, NJ. And the Back Fence in NYC. If you would like to reprint his writings or correspond with him, he can be reached at: ralphylucidmoon@yahoo.com, www.lucidmoonpoetry.com.